Written by Declan Davey on Wed Aug 06 2025.
Communication is the foundation of any relationship, but it can become a significant challenge when a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or another form of dementia. Memory loss, speech impairments, and a changing relationship dynamic can make it difficult to connect and understand each other.
To help you maintain a meaningful connection, we've compiled 14 strategies for communicating with a parent or loved one who has dementia. These tips can help reduce frustration and ensure your conversations are as positive and effective as possible.
Dementia is a progressive condition, and it's natural for communication to evolve over time. Adjusting your expectations and setting achievable goals for each conversation can prevent disappointment and frustration. Aim for "short and sweet" interactions that focus on connection rather than complex information.
Instead of asking open-ended questions like, "What do you want for lunch?" try offering simple choices. Asking, "Would you like soup or a sandwich?" or "Are you feeling okay?" reduces the cognitive demand and makes it easier for your loved one to respond.
Here are a few further examples of how this could look in practice…
Open-ended question: “How are you feeling?”
“Yes” or “no” question: “Are you feeling okay?”
Open-ended question: “What month of the year were you born in?”
“Yes” or “no” question: “Were you born in August?”
Open-ended question: “What do you fancy for lunch?”
“Yes” or “no” question: “Would you prefer a salad or soup for lunch?”
For someone with dementia, even subtle background noises like a television or radio can be overwhelming and distracting. To improve focus, turn off or turn down any background sounds during conversations.
When speaking in a group, use your loved one's name rather than pronouns like "he," "she," or "they." This helps them understand that you are speaking to them directly and avoids confusion.
If your loved one struggles with verbal comprehension, non-verbal communication is a powerful tool. Use hand gestures, facial expressions, and other physical cues to supplement your words and convey your message.
Maintaining eye contact is crucial for emotional connection. Aim for a comfortable level of eye contact, especially during greetings and questions, to help your loved one feel seen and heard.
Physical touch, such as holding hands, can be a comforting way to connect without the pressure of conversation. It provides a sense of security and can be a powerful non-verbal form of communication.
Even if your loved one no longer understands every word you say, they can still pick up on the tone of your voice. A warm, calm tone can help them feel safe and reassured.
Avoid giving multiple instructions at once. For example, instead of saying, "Go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water," try saying, "Let's go to the kitchen." Once you're there, you can say, "Let's get some water." Wait patiently for a response, as it may take your loved one 20 to 30 seconds to process information.
Changes in vision and perception are common with dementia. Position yourself in front of your loved one so they can see you clearly and know who is speaking.
If verbal communication becomes too difficult, explore other ways to connect. Look at old photos together, listen to familiar songs, or engage in simple activities like doodling or painting.
This book offers inspiring stories and techniques for connecting with people with dementia. The author emphasizes creating "perfectly wonderful moments" that, even if not remembered, leave a lasting positive feeling.
Developed by Naomi Feil, Validation Therapy offers a non-judgmental approach to communicating with older adults who have dementia. The core idea is to "validate" a person's feelings and reality, rather than forcing them to confront your reality. By stepping into their world, you can build trust, reduce anxiety, and restore their sense of dignity.
Communication is just one of many challenges that can arise with dementia. Other common issues include difficulties with mobility, nutrition, incontinence, and personal care.At Carewell, we aim to support caregivers by providing high-quality home health products in one convenient place. You can find a wide range of products to help with daily living, from nutritional supplements and incontinence products to personal care items and safety tools.If you have questions or need support, our Caregiving Specialists are here to help. You can call us at (800) 696-CARE or email us at support@carewell.com.
“Sundowner’s syndrome” or “sundowning,” affects up to 20% of people with neurodegenerative disease. In this article, we highlight some of the symptoms of Sundowner’s syndrome, discuss tips for avoiding triggers, and provide recommendations to make your caregiving responsibilities easier.
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See how to support your loved one. >Declan Davey is a health and wellness copywriter from London, UK. His background includes roles as a psychological therapist for Islington Memory Service, where he worked with family caregivers, and as a rehab assistant at Camden Neurology & Stroke Service.
